Comment posted to the Jenny Block Article in response to the Tiger Wood's Scandal.

(Perspective: Lilith)

This is yet another extremely long response to the ignorant comments posted in response to Jenny Block's article tackling the Tiger Wood's scandal. Sigh... I couldn't help myself, so I went overboard and turned my little comment into a passion driven rant.


Here is the link to the article: Jenny Block

Being an individual that practices Polyamory in my personal life, I can agree with many statements that Jenny Block makes, conversely there are many statements Jenny Block makes that I do not agree with.

First and foremost, I do notice that Jenny Block focuses mainly on the sexual aspect of polyamory. While sexuality is an important part of all relationships, I do not appreciate how sexuality has been the main topic concerning Polyamory.

Polyamory is a simple word used to describe a complex personal philosophy.

Poly is also a hybrid word from Greek and Latin; Poly (Greek) translates to 'many' or 'multiple' and Amor (Latin) translates to 'love'.

Polyamory means many loves.

While individuals are free to interpret that translation how they will, I still believe that 'many loves' still means just that 'many loves', which does not mean 'many fuck buddies' or 'many one night stands'.

Swinging and Polyamory will forever be on the opposite ends of the spectrum and should not be confused with one another, especially with the media distorting the personal philosophy in order to create petty cultural wars amongst one another.

Jenny Block's story of how she became Polyamorous is her story and while it may reflect similar situations of how some other individuals became Polyamorous, it does not reflect us all.

My Fiance and I have never cheated on one another, nor have we cheated on partners in our past, because not only do we have self control as individuals, but we also have morals and ethics that clearly make actions such as lying, cheating, stealing (and so on), not only wrong, but irreversible actions that have many consequences causing unimaginable damage.

Our story of how we became Polyamorous has absolutely nothing to do with lying, cheating, or a lack of self control. We both as individuals are caring, loving, compassionate, empathetic, and extroverted, with many evolving interests regarding human nature, society, and culture. We have a lot of love to give and make the conscious decision to choose to see the good and loveable qualities in humans instead of simply focusing on the bad and unlovable qualities in humans. This makes it very easy to develop legitimate feelings for more than one individual at a time and these feelings can range anywhere from crushes to being in love.

Humans, as a race, have throughout time, isolated themselves further and further from one another, which goes against the nature of our species. We are social creatures that not only statistically, but also logically live happier, healthier, longer, and less complicated lives when we interact with, depend on, and trust one another.

If this weren't the case, then we as a species would not be trying to fix the hole in our hearts and the empty void in our lives by joining special interest groups or on-line social networks to replace feelings belonging, acceptance, and love.

Humans have put themselves through hell over the course of thousands of years and we have finally reached our apex, which has resulted in an overwhelming feeling of needing to experience love.

I have read the statement that monogamy is a myth.

I have read the statement that monogamy goes against our nature as a species.

I strongly disagree with them both.

What I do believe is that monogamy and polyamory are both legitimate lifestyles, in sync with our nature, for some of us are happy being monogamous and some of us are happy being polyamorous.

Yes, emotions such as jealousy are completely natural, but only because we are sentient creatures capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions and thought. However, this does not mean that just because you might experience something uncomfortable, you should avoid it or deem the source of your discomfort as unnatural or something that goes against the nature of your species. It is how you choose to react to your uncomfortable emotions that is important, not whether or not you experience them.

Humans are also creatures of passion; various cultures have created music, dances, paintings, jewelry, clothing, stories, belief systems so they can feel unique depths emotions that are a direct result of experiencing those diverse creations.

Dancing is different from music just as jewelry is different from clothing, but they are each enjoyable for their unique aspects, which is why we enjoy all of them instead of confining ourselves to one form of artistic expression.

The same can be said for human interaction and human relationships.

Just as it isn't okay to be monogamous because the prying eyes of society says you should, it isn't okay to be polyamorous because the prying eyes of society says you should.

We all have our personal beliefs and our personal convictions. To claim our personal beliefs and our personal convictions are the one and only right way to live is a bit absurd because along with that claim comes the implication that we are perfect, all knowing, and god-like.

Face it, we are all far from perfect, all knowing, and god-like.

This is why persecuting each other for our beliefs is absolutely ridiculous.

We live in 2009, not the 1930's.

Which brings me to my other point.

I have read statements that suggest allowing homosexual couples the right to be recognized by the state as a legitimate couple with the same right to marry as heterosexual couples will result in the scenario in which polyamorous couples will be recognized by the state as a legitimate couple with the same right to marry as monogamous couples, which will create a slippery slope.

First, the issue against homosexual rights is absurd.

The only people with an issue against homosexuals are Christians.

Homosexuality has been documented as being practiced a good 35,000 to 50,000 years ago, which when compared to the 2,000 year old practice of Christianity, it is ancient. I understand the Bible claims that homosexuality is wrong “because God says so”, but the Bible is a violent book dating back 2,000 years, which was literally published by a government body that decided which books were and weren't allowed in the Bible.

Jesus, who is the figure of Christianity, states that judging your fellow humans is not your right and tells humans that you are not to pass judgment or persecute for what you perceive as the sins of others. You are, by his words, to leave that to God.

If you believe your religion as you so zealously claim, please follow all of it, not just what suits you .

If you demand respect for your beliefs and convictions, then give respect to the beliefs and convictions of others, especially when they do not pertain to yours.

That is intelligence.

Second, the Church and State are supposed to be separate, meaning that if the only individuals that are opposed to homosexual marriages are the religious, then by law, the religious are to have no say in the decisions of government institutions.

Third, claiming that homosexual and polyamorous rights will create a slippery slope is as backwards as claiming that allowing women and African-Americans the right to vote will create a slippery slope.

I invite you to remember a time where women were forced into submission without even the right to common civil liberties such as wearing pants.

I invite you to remember a time where African-Americans were bought and sold into slavery, raped, murdered, and denied all human rights because the color of their skin.

From our perspective at this point in time, we view those periods as horrible points in human history, and as a sober example of the maliciousness humans are capable of.

We cannot repeat those mistakes.

Is it so difficult to imagine a time in which we do not judge what causes us no physical harm?

Is it so difficult to imagine a time in which homosexual and polyamorous individuals have the same rights and civil liberties as do women and African-American individuals?

If we as a species are so intelligent and progressive, why is it that we cannot evolve past petty judgments? It's quite embarrassing, to be honest.

I have seen family become a major concern of those curious about the Polyamorous lifestyle.

Many of you have asked about the stability of the children who belong to Polyamorous families.

Children without siblings are scientifically proven to psychologically develop differently from children with at least one sibling; children without siblings are scientifically proven to have difficulty with social skills, sharing, and learning abilities whereas children with siblings are scientifically proven to have more ease with social skills, sharing, and learning abilities.

Children without parents are scientifically proven to emotionally develop differently from children with at least one parent.

As you see, children who are surrounded by larger families, which are comprised of loving and supportive pillars of strength, live happier, healthier, and more stable lives and are much more capable of becoming stable adults in their future.

Polyamory means many loves, which one could imagine implies larger families in the sense that existing families merge, which results in extended families that can be seen as support groups.

This not only makes it easier and more enjoyable for the child to have more brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, fathers, and mothers to turn to, but it makes it easier for the parents as well to know that they will have help caring, loving, and providing for their children.

I quote: “It takes a village to raise a child.”

This has never been more true as we our now seeing the consequences of trying to raise children alone.

As a conclusion to this very long response: the main arguments against Polyamory can be seen as stemming from a few nerves that are touched by the concept such as sexuality, family, religion.

If we can open our minds to the possibility that polyamory is about the ability to love more than one individual and not about the allowance of cheating, that polyamory is about creating families and not about destroying families, and that those who practice religion should be more tolerant, accepting, and loving towards the personal decisions that do not cause them any physical harm, then perhaps we can as a society open our minds to if not practicing Polyamory, then at least accepting and loving those who do.

For those who feel that Polyamory is being shoved in your face because there exist news articles, books, and documentaries regarding the subject, please understand that we are simply offering our opinion just like every other member of society is doing.

Polyamory is not for everyone, and that is okay.

Monogamy is not for everyone, and that is okay.

To address the Tiger Woods situation: Cheating is not okay within Monogamous and/or Polyamorous relationships, because to cheat is to lie, deceive, and posses a lack of self-control as well as necessary morals and ethics. I do not think that Tiger Woods becoming Polyamorous would solve any of his problems, because within Polyamorous relationships communication, honesty, and respect are key components, and when those guidelines are disrespected and breached, relationships end just as they do in Monogamous relationships. It appears that Tiger Woods doesn't necessarily feel as though he doesn't have an option, but rather that he has an issue with lying and cheating, which we shouldn't forget that some people have, whether or not they are Polyamorous or Monogamous.

So, before any one you angrily responds to my comment with spiteful and hate filled remarks, please seriously consider the words I have written, and open your minds to the possibility that it is okay for people to be different from you as long as what they are doing causes you no harm.

Humans are wonderful creatures when we choose to be, so let us choose to use the intelligence we pride ourselves on, and continue down another path of evolution.

Update: I highly respect Jenny Block for her commitment to putting herself in a vulnerable position for the sake of Poly Activism, but she isn't exactly the best poster child for the Poly Movement.

Oh, Baby.

Perspective: (Lilith)

Per usual, a series of synchronicities created quite the interesting situation in my life.

For the past few months, my menstual cycle has appeared every full moon, however this past month when the full moon arrived, I did not find myself doubled-over in pain, laying in bed sipping chammomile tea, or fussing over the nuances of tampons and diva cups. Instead, I found myself grounded, active, pain-free, slightly worried, and quite confused.

Synchronicity #1: When I arrived at work, I mentioned to a co-worked how fatigued I felt as a result of working during the holiday season and my body preparing for my cycle. She took one look at me and said quite bluntly, "Are you pregnant?"
Considering I was late for my cycle, the most I could do was stammer, "I don't believe I'm pregnant. I am engaged, so it wouldn't be horrible if I was, but... I don't think so."
She replied matter-of-factly, "Well, my daughter experienced the same sort of exhaustion, and even continued to have her cycle for two months until she realized she was pregnant."
The most I could gather and present was a bewildered, "Huh..."

Synchronicity#2: My fiances Mother mentioned how she was having a chocolate craving as a result of getting close to her menstrual cycle. She also mentioned that our cycles are usually back-to-back; mine coming before hers. This, of course, prompted her to ask, "Did you get your period yet?"
Pretending this was a normal conversation, I tersely replied, "No, in fact, I'm late."
Knowing the I want Grandchildren smile all too well, it didn't take me long to realize what was going through her mind.

Synchronicity#3: I decided to rent Frida so John can see it, which it turned out he positively loved (he's such a skeptic), not realizing that halfway through the movie Frida becomes unexpectedly pregnant.

Synchronicity#4: John and I are eating dinner at the table and his Mother is watching an obnoxious television show that happens to grab my attention, you know, being that it is a dancing midget and all. During the five minutes I randomly decide to pay attention, I see a young woman who has just given birth to her newborn child, and is having second thoughts giving her child up for adoption after having the chance to hold and even nurse the baby.

Ah, yes, by this time I decided it would be a good time to have the talk with my love. As expected, the talk went fabulously and we decided that if it was meant to be, then we would trust the universe and view the pregnancy as a blessing, and a deeper commitment to our relationship and path in life together.

So, after seven days of not bleeding between my legs, we decided to go to the store and get a pregnancy test, which happened to be locked behind a sliding glass door, right next to an impressive array of condoms, and a not so impressive array of typical KY lubrication.

We asked for assistance, waited, and the most hilarious thing happened...

He walked up to the case with his head down, and proceeded to open the condom case assuming we were a randy, young couple anxiously waiting to rush home with our condoms and fuck like bunnies.

But, alas, we had already fucked like bunnies and we now need the pregnancy test, so we politley say (without laughing), "No, not that case, the other one."

He manages to nervously stammer, "Oh..." and fidget with the lock until the other case opens.

We tell him we want a pregnancy test, which makes him more nervous, so he starts grabbing for one and we once again politely say (still without laughing even though this time its more difficult), "No, that one down there..."

I supposed this was the straw that broke the camels back because at this point he said (while still looking at the ground), "You guys can just grab it..."

So, we just grab it, smile, wish him a wonderful night, and proceed to the check-out line.

Oddly enough, as we are leaving the store, I begin to experience what feels like my body preparing for menses.

Fifteen minutes after arriving home... GUSH... hello period!

So, it turns out I'm not pregnant, which is a bit of a relief and a bit of a dissapointment.

Synchronicity# 5: For our two-year anniversary, John and I go into Tucson for a fun-filled day of events and reminiscing, which brings us to where we first met and worked together at: Bookman's. We chat with old friends and co-workers for a while, make our selections, and head over to the check-out line, where an old friend blurts out in-front of a good twenty people, "Wow, you look great; you're glowing! Are you pregnant?"
At this point, I lose words, forget how to breathe, and somehow mention to croak, "Thanks... no... why?"
She continues happily, "Oh, well, everyone is getting pregnant and popping out babies. It's the year of the baby!"

Now, if I hadn't gotten my period just three days before that event, I would have been convinced I was pregnant.

Imagine that.

Revelation.

(Perspective): Lilith

For a period in time, humanity disconnected themselves not only from nature and other human beings, but also themselves, which resulted in a situation where individuals believed that material possezsions would bring them happiness, thus they replaced human interaction with consumerism.

However, if one pays close attention to society, it will become quite clear that a collective shift is taking place; one that brings us full circle to where we began.

We once, as a race, used to rely on not solely on our own individual actions, but rather the actions of our tribes as a whole for companionship, love, food, clothing, shelter, wisdom, and so on.

Once again, humanity is yearning to be connected in ways we have never longed for, thus the pang is not only intense, but to some disturbing, disorienting, and extremely confusing.

We find ourselves hoping for a compliment, recognition, validation, and even praise.

Does this mean we have reduced ourselves to pathetic, self-centered, egotistical, blobs pining over the chance to receive attention?

No, quite the contrary.

It seems to me as though we have subconsciously come to realize our dire mistake, and are finding anyway possible to fill the void we have created over time.

Every living being requires love and this is something our world has sorely lacked, but now is beginning to flourish.

Polyamory can greatly aide us on our journey to rediscover love and I believe this is why it has become quite the topic of discussion lately.

I truly feel as though we have finally realized what we heal our dying world.

Catalyst.

(Perspective:Lilith)

As has been the theme lately, the art of growth through self-discipline is strongly continuing it's pursuit of great change within my life.

It is human tendency to experience strong aversion to change and grope for the familiar, even if change is a positive, for the familiar creates a convincing illusion of security.

However, the familiar more often than not implies stagnation, which is the exact opposite of what I need.

With this being so, I've spent a lot of time delving into the depths of my being, exploring the labyrinthine corridors of my soul, and coming to a myriad of resolutions.

Within Polyamory, communication is the key to happiness, which includes internal as well as external dialogue, complete honesty within and without, and a constant reassessment of needs.

As I'm once again returning to myself, I'm becoming more able to acknowledge who I am, who I'm not, what I'm capable of, what I'm not capable of, where I am, where I want to be, and the journey necessary to reach my internal and external goals.

Being okay with this brought me to another realization.

The beautiful aspect about Polyamory, is that you no longer need to feel pressured into being everything for one person, because as individuals we can only provide so much for ourselves and others until we begin to spread ourselves too thin, which results in an extremely unhealthy situation of inadvertently neglecting everything.

While Xenith and I have an astounding amount of similarities, we have a few very strong differences

Instead of feeling threatened by the possibility that someone can fill certain needs of Xenith that I cannot, I'm beginning to feel relieved and even happy that this is a tangible reality for Xenith and I.

I am currently spread too thin within our agreed upon dynamic concerning our Polyamorous relationship, which is only opening ourselves to romantic and sexual prospects together, not separately.

At this point in my life, I am deeply focused on internal spiritual growth, thus presenting a situation in which I find myself particularly picky about who I open myself to romantically and sexually, which isn't fair to Xenith because at this point in his life, he is deeply focused on sharing himself with other people.

Considering that I selflessly love him, I do not feel right about holding him back from happiness in any way, shape, and/or form.

We have talked and while we both acknowledge this new change within our dynamic is a bit frightening at the moment, it speaks of growth, trust, happiness, and a deepening of our bond together.

To be honest, I'm actually quite excited to see where this new avenue in life will take us!

Mental Note: Something is different...

Perspective: (Lilith)

It's interesting to examine my thoughts and notice that my daily perspective is radically changing in regard to personal relationships.

For example, when I hear clearly monogamous songs with lyrical content such as "We'd be perfect for each other and we'd never need another," I find myself experiencing a myriad of emotions ranging anywhere from annoyance to confusion while wondering if anyone in close proximity is thinking anything remotely close to me.

When I idly people watch during moments of mental wandering, I become curious as to whether or not they are in a relationship, the state of the relationship, whether or not they have considered opening their dynamic, and if they are practicing an alternative dynamic already.

When I hear the words significant other, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, husband, and wife, I want to tack on an extra 's' at the end of them all due to increasingly occurring fantasies of everyone being in one, huge, happy tribe.

*Sings* Oh the times they are a' chaaaangin'.....

Battle-Ready

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Clarity.

Perspective: (Lilith)

The last few posts have been enigmatic at best, which I'm sure is confusing to you, the reader.

Those posts were a response to the frustration over someone we became involved with.

Over the course of the past few months we met a gorgeous hippy chick with a wonderful personality.

We've been hitting it off amazingly well, with the attraction being equal on all fronts.

Our interests seemed extremely similar in the aspect that we all appreciate all forms of art, but more specifically, belly dancing, fire spinning, silk dancing, body modifications, and so on and so forth.

We spent many nights together talking for hours on end about our past, present, and future dreams.

We invested a lot into this woman.

However, while we have both been equally smitten with her, there seems to be a high degree of confusion.

As stated above, our developing relationship felt heavenly, however, there seemed to be a growing amount of hesitation radiating from her. Once we inquired as to the hesitation, we were told that she feels afraid to be involved with such loving people, for she has only ever experienced severe emotional neglect within her past relationships.

Now, emotions are complex, therefore I can understand her experiencing fear that we are too good to be true, however, I cannot understand not making the conscious decision to liberate herself from a fear based reality.

Soon after we were told this she was finally honest about the root of the problem.
Apparently her ex boyfriend was beginning to come back into the picture, of which she expressed she had no interest in resuming a relationship with because of his emotional neglect toward her.

Oh and... I might add one extremely important fact... he doesn't support the polyamorous lifestyle.

Ouch.

Well, she eventually made a decision that she needed to choose between being with XenitH and I, or her ex boyfriend.

The result?

She made a decision to resume a relationship with her ex.

The familiar, no matter how painful, is what humans tend to gravitate toward.

We are, as a species, afraid of our own personal evolution, as well as the collective. This is all a product of our social conditioning.

After this upset, she expressed she still desires us as friends, which given how high we hold her, we accepted, for losing friends is never enjoyable.

At this point, however, she seems to be playing head games...

Is it worth the frustration, heartache, and the overall risk to our wellbeing, which would compromise our purpose in life, our activism?

Hooked and Strung-Out

Perspective: (XenitH)

Nine-O-Clock on the third night since we last spoke. I find it interesting that despite the moderate emotional exposure, regardless of lacking physicality and nonexistant promises beneath stars or sheets, we can miss you so. A magnetic lure brought us in, even through the digital dimensions of which we first "met". Your electric energy with a delectable ecstatic sting.

Perhaps it is more than that.

Subtle metaphysical and karmic addictions?

Once the three connect to make One, the bond cannot be safely severed.

Nothing short of depravity shall follow in the wake.

Though to question myself, as I frequently do; I stumble across plausibilities of a different sort. Might I be just lonely enough, and might it be just damp enough outside, and might I be so infatuated with the concept that I ignorantly blind myself?

Is this simply a false sense of absence?

Once again my active "What If's" leave me lonlier than before.

Cards Lay Face Up.

Perspective: (XenitH)



She has brought more options to my life than she can ever comprehend. M the Muse, 'tis what I shall refer to her as hence forth. M with her grace, tact, lucidity. I speak not of love, lust, or passion for that matter. I must confess, she does have a way of stimulating my diverse and rarely penetrated pallet of acquired tastes. What I speak of is longer lasting than a night of passion, more finite than a romp in the sack, more effective than a long-term relationship. What she presents to me in such a subliminal manner is a variant path to my existence, in such a delectable way.



Perhaps I am not the most grounded individual on this plane, but I do pride myself for having more than average direction. Until recently, only activism of the socio-political assortment was my acquired taste. My self-indulgent, flamboyant side spoke loudly, and I listened to its many facets luring me into paths of the more exciting and entertaining variety. Table-top gaming has been a shimmering stone in this labryinthine cavern as of late. To use my mental gusto and create dimensions of debauchery and unthinkable acts, to create with my dark desires worlds of political intrigue and intracy never to be unraveled, to connect with players lured into my web of intricacy. The smoke, the allure, the tension, the blood-lust of imaginative adventures within the Masquerade. The Vampiric Kiss has been a lust of late, but then it all changed.



This brings me to her flight. The dance with silky seductions. A ballet of sorts, a kiss of subtle softness. Her dreadlocks flailing in the air, as her calm facade becomes engulfed by the changing of G's and its gravitational pull of danger. Can I see myself performing such a blatant yet subtle dance? Surely. Should I partake in such a thirst for mischief? Oh what a gift of mortality. To dedicate time and mortal vitality to the thrill of heights and agility! Why must you taunt me with an addiction of thrill and tumultuous gut-wrenching intrigue? Testing the fabric of my being behind the usual capacity. To boldly use the body part of my being, instead of the intellectual in such a disposable yet gracefully confident manner. Flying high above the ground, a fabric of solidity as if it were a beckoning cloud.



There is but one sensation of danger mixed with sensuality I can see residing in the flying grace's place. Include the absence of gravity Silk Dancing brings about, but misplace the subtle softness. Instead superimpose raw yet precise punctures. Gleaming metal divulging just above the surface of muscle, truly inside the fabric of my mortal being. To be suspended by shimmery hooks, gliding through the air much similar to that of a silk ballet. I can see the pricking metal entering my skin, sending waves of adrenaline throughout my entire body. The steady lifting of my mortal frame into the night air. A Euphoric state as I first partake in my largest organ holding my entire being delicately yet with such malice. Afterwards my bod-mod care-taker massages the air bubbles out of my muscles making my blood bubble, and allowing onlookers to gawk at such a spectacle. A spectacle of which I have witnessed myself, yet to be the direct cause of awe.

Does such a subculture exist here in Tucson, AZ? Truly I know not. Do I find myself resourceful enough to dig depths and find such a cult of sensory extremes, I believe so. Might I find myself imaginative and passionate enough to create such a following? Absolutely. There is no denying M will find a world as dangerous and seductive as flesh-suspension a new poison of choice. The true question resides in my own motivational muse. Furthermore, will My Love find such a path as delectable and inviting as I? Shall she embrace The Hook with the best of them, or consider me an outcast of steel and body manipulation. Should I take such a path alone, or might I find Another whom embraces my erratic and extreme nature as Love and M have thus far?

One thing is for certain, many options weigh heavy on my aspirations. To embrace the die, the silk tie, or the crimson sky? Truly the answer resides somewhere. Deep into my lucid dreams I shall dive, without direction or oxygen. Plunge without guiding gages or swim-fin. Inward I seek the motivation I pray for, to make such invigorating yet rash decisions.

Ultimately one question remains.

Will you be there for me when once the bets are set and the cards lay face-up?

Coming Out

Perspective: (Lilith)

Xenith came out to his immediately family some years ago. However, with this dynamic being completely new in my life, the thought of coming out to my family was daunting, not because I felt I wouldn't receive support, but rather because it is a difficult life decision to explain.

Recently I called my Mother simply to talk about life and the many aspects of it when I found myself feeling compelled to discuss our new relationship dynamic with my Mother. Of course, my Mother has intense intuition and called me out on the fact that I was hedging around something important.

Ah, Moms...

I hadn't prepared for this in any way shape and/or form, so my explanation started out as a rant of sorts, evolved into a civil rights discussion, and ended with a, "Mom... I'm not monogamous..."

It took a while to explain that within the context of Polyamory, the relationships created are as diverse as the people who create them, leaving the possibilities infinite.

Surprisingly enough, she expressed to me that while she chooses not to live a similar lifestyle as me, she supports XenitH and I %100.

At this point in the conversation my mouth was dropped wide open and I found myself speechless.

We laughed, joked, and bonded even deeper than before.

I must admit that I feel extremely blessed and grateful to have such a wonderful Mother in my life.

Yay!

Introductions.

Perspective: (Lilith)

XenitH and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for almost a year and a half. When we first met, XenitH identified himself as polyamorous and I identified myself as monogamous (opposites truly do attract, eh?). At that point in my life I was hesitant of romantically involved relationships in general, and the idea of multiple romantically involved relationships near paralyzed me. I'll admit, the concept of polyamory was interesting, but I simply wasn't ready for that adventure.

Our intrigue and attraction to each other was far too strong to ignore, thus together we entered into an exclusive monogamous relationship. Our relationship has been intellectually, emotionally, and sexually fulfilling in a myriad of ways, but we soon realized that as all humans are, we too are multi-faceted individuals that require many levels of stimulation that our partner may not be able to fully provide. I had come to the conclusion that expecting, and in many ways demanding your one and only to provide you with everything you require in life is not only unfair, but unrealistic.

This revelation was absolutely frightening on my behalf, but it was a revelation nonetheless, and such psychological breakthroughs are not to be ignored. This breakthrough was experienced by us both simultaneously and we mutually presented both our perspectives of the problem and the solution.

Upon many discussions, we have mutually agreed to explain our new perspective on our relationship as extending our circle of compassion by practicing alternative relationship dynamics. We feel there are far too many preconceived notions and negative connotations surrounding the terms polyamory, non-monogamy, and open relationships, thus we agreed to stick with the term alternative relationship dynamics. This leaves it open for us to explain to others our lifestyle and cultural decisions with minimal confusion.

We are both entering this new phase in our relationship with selflessness, unconditional love, transparency, excitement, and joy as well as doubt, fear, and insecurities. This blog is to help us chart our progress and deal with the various emotions that arise in this transition and to also help the readers through their relating situations. Also, this blog is shared between the two of us, so to eliminated confusion of who is writing an entry, we have decided to place our name in parenthesis at the top left-hand corner of the entry.

Namaste!