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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Clarity.

Perspective: (Lilith)

The last few posts have been enigmatic at best, which I'm sure is confusing to you, the reader.

Those posts were a response to the frustration over someone we became involved with.

Over the course of the past few months we met a gorgeous hippy chick with a wonderful personality.

We've been hitting it off amazingly well, with the attraction being equal on all fronts.

Our interests seemed extremely similar in the aspect that we all appreciate all forms of art, but more specifically, belly dancing, fire spinning, silk dancing, body modifications, and so on and so forth.

We spent many nights together talking for hours on end about our past, present, and future dreams.

We invested a lot into this woman.

However, while we have both been equally smitten with her, there seems to be a high degree of confusion.

As stated above, our developing relationship felt heavenly, however, there seemed to be a growing amount of hesitation radiating from her. Once we inquired as to the hesitation, we were told that she feels afraid to be involved with such loving people, for she has only ever experienced severe emotional neglect within her past relationships.

Now, emotions are complex, therefore I can understand her experiencing fear that we are too good to be true, however, I cannot understand not making the conscious decision to liberate herself from a fear based reality.

Soon after we were told this she was finally honest about the root of the problem.
Apparently her ex boyfriend was beginning to come back into the picture, of which she expressed she had no interest in resuming a relationship with because of his emotional neglect toward her.

Oh and... I might add one extremely important fact... he doesn't support the polyamorous lifestyle.

Ouch.

Well, she eventually made a decision that she needed to choose between being with XenitH and I, or her ex boyfriend.

The result?

She made a decision to resume a relationship with her ex.

The familiar, no matter how painful, is what humans tend to gravitate toward.

We are, as a species, afraid of our own personal evolution, as well as the collective. This is all a product of our social conditioning.

After this upset, she expressed she still desires us as friends, which given how high we hold her, we accepted, for losing friends is never enjoyable.

At this point, however, she seems to be playing head games...

Is it worth the frustration, heartache, and the overall risk to our wellbeing, which would compromise our purpose in life, our activism?