Evolution.

(Perspective: Lilith)

It has been quite a long time since there has been an update, however this is not because of lack of experiences to share. Rather, it has been quite the contrary; there have been so many changes it is a little difficult to keep track of.

I suppose I will begin where we left off: Fetish Revolution.

Shortly after Fetish Revolution, John and I attended a personal play party we were invited to by one of the founders of Horns and Halos, an organization that produces the Arizona Fetish Balls.

While I was eagerly looking forward to attending the party, I was also extremely apprehensive because I wasn't exactly sure whether or not any random scenario would trigger memories from my past.

I am glad to say that the exact opposite happened.

I participated in a few very enjoyable scenes, in which all of my reservations dissolved as if the memories of my past abuse were merely a bad dream I had, or a story I had discovered in a random fiction novel.

The night was pure magic, the group of people at the party were absolutely wonderful, and despite the small amount of sleep I got after the 12 hour play party, I felt refreshed, renewed, and open.

In addition to my personal healing, the experience brought John and I incredibly close. I cannot imagine another person on this Earth that I could have trusted enough in that moment to be there for me should a memory be triggered. For this I am eternally grateful.

There are few words that can describe the elation I am currently feeling, no matter how poetically I may attempt to convey them.

I suppose most importantly, I understand these feelings, and I as a result can begin to heal.

Since then, we have attended multiple play parties, met quite a few amazing people in the kink scene in Arizona, and have forged a new path within our relationship.

This brought us to such a heightened level of closeness in our relationship that it felt like the right time to make the next step: marriage.

It is interesting to look back into the past and observe what thoughts, opinions, and perspectives I held at that time. There are many aspects of myself that are completely the same, but conversely much has changed.

For instance, John and I got married May 4th.

When I was a teenager I was very anarchistic, and I still am to a degree, but I now hold the view that it is better to bend concepts instead of break them.

For a long time I swore over and over again that I didn't believe in marriage because of the institution and implications behind state marriages. Besides, what happens to your life when you get married?

[Begin Rant] You "settle down", become Ms. Betty housewife, a spent baby maker, a personal chef for your husband, a whore in the bedroom, entertainer in the living room, and an all around miserable human being that needlessly consumes a disgusting amounts of natural resources for the sake of preserving their god forsaken nuclear family. [End Rant]

Clearly, I abhorred the idea of this being my fate.

However, when I met John, it became quite clear that our relationship would not be conventional by any means, for neither of us as individuals are conventional people, therefore it would only make sense that when we come together, our life becomes surreal in a wonderful way.

One year after our relationship began, we evolved from being monogamous to polyamorous. After two years of being together John proposed, which he never thought he'd do in any of his relationships. After three years, we both decide to dedicate ourselves in marriage.

It isn't your common marriage by any means. Neither of us are religious, but we're both extremely spiritual, and find solace in people uniting together through whatever means they choose.

I'm extremely happy with our decision and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This brings us to another interesting scenario.

For the past four months, John had been talking on-line with a woman he found on OKCupid.
The interesting catch is this woman is straight, however she is in a polyamorous relationship with her husband. Her husband and I had never talked before, so I wasn't exactly sure if there would be a connection on our behalf.

However, they have been hitting it off quite nicely to the point where we were wondering if they would ever meet in person.

Well, we finally pinpointed a date, and were invited to have dinner and stay the night.

I am happy to say that the night exceeded all of our expectations.

I'm actually rather surprised at how quickly I'm opening up with her husband.

I never have identified as polysexual, but rather always polyamorous. For me the entire experience is about building and maintaining multiple loving relationships. The sexuality aspect is a gigantic plus, but it isn't my main focus.

In fact, it isn't usual that I open up sexually to someone so quickly. There are a myriad of variables that made opening up so soon comfortable. For example, I am married to a very amazing man who is interested in a wonderful woman. That woman happens to be married to an attractive man that I am interested in. That alone provides the feeling of a seemingly safe and stable situation.

Now begins the period of entertaining exciting possibilities as far as romantic and sexual relationships are concerned.

Aside from this wonderful news, John and I also attended Fetish Prom!

The anticipation leading up to the night of the Fetish Prom was becoming almost unbearable, which might I add was pleasurably painful. However, now that it has passed, a new anticipation for the next Fetish Ball is steadily growing.

The week before the Fetish Prom had proved to be quite the hectic week in many different aspects. To begin with, our work schedules were a bit brutal, which provided us with little time to prepare for the event. We had a wedding to prepare for and attend, as well as a mad spree to put the finishing touches on both our outfits.

Needless to say, we accomplished everything quite gracefully. Phew... sigh of relief!

Finally, the night arrived where we found ourselves on our way to the Fetish Prom.

After a trip into Tucson to find the rest of John’s outfit, we showered, goofed around, got dressed, goofed around some more, gleefully hopped in the car, and soon arrived at the Fetish Prom.

I knew the Fetish Prom would be more packed than Fetish Revolution, but I had no idea it would be that crowded.

My favorite part of going to the Fetish events is the walk to the venue from the parking lot. Those innocent and unsuspecting people who are simply out with their friends for a night on the town usually have no idea how to react to seeing hundreds of people dressed in fetish/kinky gear. The looks given are absolutely hilarious.

Needless to say, the walk from the parking lot was a little experience all in it’s own.

Once inside the venue we ran into everyone that we know, which is of course always very lovely. After a few hours of conversation, we hear the announcement that Android Lust is playing. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Android Lust, but John absolutely loves them. At this point, we excuse ourselves, and run towards the stage. Regardless of whether or not I care to sit down to their albums at home, I still very much enjoyed their live performance. We danced our cute little butts off for the entire performance, and mingled a bit more.

Before we knew it, the end of the venue arrived, which was only the beginning of the after party.

Many thanks and much love goes to Mitch and Monica for gifting us with two V.I.P passes and a free stay in their hotel room for the after party. We are grateful beyond expression.

When we arrived at the after party, the hotel was already crawling with tons of naked people running around and having lots of kinky fun. In a way, the after party felt similar to a kinky zoo. Every hotel room had their doors and curtains open to display what fun they were having inside the rooms. It was quite an interesting and awesome evening.

Eventually, the sun came up and most people went home aside from a few small groups of devout kinksters. We left a few hours after the sun rose and made our way home.

All in all, it has been a busy few months, and we wouldn't have it any other way :)