Coming Out

Perspective: (Lilith)

Xenith came out to his immediately family some years ago. However, with this dynamic being completely new in my life, the thought of coming out to my family was daunting, not because I felt I wouldn't receive support, but rather because it is a difficult life decision to explain.

Recently I called my Mother simply to talk about life and the many aspects of it when I found myself feeling compelled to discuss our new relationship dynamic with my Mother. Of course, my Mother has intense intuition and called me out on the fact that I was hedging around something important.

Ah, Moms...

I hadn't prepared for this in any way shape and/or form, so my explanation started out as a rant of sorts, evolved into a civil rights discussion, and ended with a, "Mom... I'm not monogamous..."

It took a while to explain that within the context of Polyamory, the relationships created are as diverse as the people who create them, leaving the possibilities infinite.

Surprisingly enough, she expressed to me that while she chooses not to live a similar lifestyle as me, she supports XenitH and I %100.

At this point in the conversation my mouth was dropped wide open and I found myself speechless.

We laughed, joked, and bonded even deeper than before.

I must admit that I feel extremely blessed and grateful to have such a wonderful Mother in my life.

Yay!

Introductions.

Perspective: (Lilith)

XenitH and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for almost a year and a half. When we first met, XenitH identified himself as polyamorous and I identified myself as monogamous (opposites truly do attract, eh?). At that point in my life I was hesitant of romantically involved relationships in general, and the idea of multiple romantically involved relationships near paralyzed me. I'll admit, the concept of polyamory was interesting, but I simply wasn't ready for that adventure.

Our intrigue and attraction to each other was far too strong to ignore, thus together we entered into an exclusive monogamous relationship. Our relationship has been intellectually, emotionally, and sexually fulfilling in a myriad of ways, but we soon realized that as all humans are, we too are multi-faceted individuals that require many levels of stimulation that our partner may not be able to fully provide. I had come to the conclusion that expecting, and in many ways demanding your one and only to provide you with everything you require in life is not only unfair, but unrealistic.

This revelation was absolutely frightening on my behalf, but it was a revelation nonetheless, and such psychological breakthroughs are not to be ignored. This breakthrough was experienced by us both simultaneously and we mutually presented both our perspectives of the problem and the solution.

Upon many discussions, we have mutually agreed to explain our new perspective on our relationship as extending our circle of compassion by practicing alternative relationship dynamics. We feel there are far too many preconceived notions and negative connotations surrounding the terms polyamory, non-monogamy, and open relationships, thus we agreed to stick with the term alternative relationship dynamics. This leaves it open for us to explain to others our lifestyle and cultural decisions with minimal confusion.

We are both entering this new phase in our relationship with selflessness, unconditional love, transparency, excitement, and joy as well as doubt, fear, and insecurities. This blog is to help us chart our progress and deal with the various emotions that arise in this transition and to also help the readers through their relating situations. Also, this blog is shared between the two of us, so to eliminated confusion of who is writing an entry, we have decided to place our name in parenthesis at the top left-hand corner of the entry.

Namaste!