Hooked and Strung-Out

Perspective: (XenitH)

Nine-O-Clock on the third night since we last spoke. I find it interesting that despite the moderate emotional exposure, regardless of lacking physicality and nonexistant promises beneath stars or sheets, we can miss you so. A magnetic lure brought us in, even through the digital dimensions of which we first "met". Your electric energy with a delectable ecstatic sting.

Perhaps it is more than that.

Subtle metaphysical and karmic addictions?

Once the three connect to make One, the bond cannot be safely severed.

Nothing short of depravity shall follow in the wake.

Though to question myself, as I frequently do; I stumble across plausibilities of a different sort. Might I be just lonely enough, and might it be just damp enough outside, and might I be so infatuated with the concept that I ignorantly blind myself?

Is this simply a false sense of absence?

Once again my active "What If's" leave me lonlier than before.

Cards Lay Face Up.

Perspective: (XenitH)



She has brought more options to my life than she can ever comprehend. M the Muse, 'tis what I shall refer to her as hence forth. M with her grace, tact, lucidity. I speak not of love, lust, or passion for that matter. I must confess, she does have a way of stimulating my diverse and rarely penetrated pallet of acquired tastes. What I speak of is longer lasting than a night of passion, more finite than a romp in the sack, more effective than a long-term relationship. What she presents to me in such a subliminal manner is a variant path to my existence, in such a delectable way.



Perhaps I am not the most grounded individual on this plane, but I do pride myself for having more than average direction. Until recently, only activism of the socio-political assortment was my acquired taste. My self-indulgent, flamboyant side spoke loudly, and I listened to its many facets luring me into paths of the more exciting and entertaining variety. Table-top gaming has been a shimmering stone in this labryinthine cavern as of late. To use my mental gusto and create dimensions of debauchery and unthinkable acts, to create with my dark desires worlds of political intrigue and intracy never to be unraveled, to connect with players lured into my web of intricacy. The smoke, the allure, the tension, the blood-lust of imaginative adventures within the Masquerade. The Vampiric Kiss has been a lust of late, but then it all changed.



This brings me to her flight. The dance with silky seductions. A ballet of sorts, a kiss of subtle softness. Her dreadlocks flailing in the air, as her calm facade becomes engulfed by the changing of G's and its gravitational pull of danger. Can I see myself performing such a blatant yet subtle dance? Surely. Should I partake in such a thirst for mischief? Oh what a gift of mortality. To dedicate time and mortal vitality to the thrill of heights and agility! Why must you taunt me with an addiction of thrill and tumultuous gut-wrenching intrigue? Testing the fabric of my being behind the usual capacity. To boldly use the body part of my being, instead of the intellectual in such a disposable yet gracefully confident manner. Flying high above the ground, a fabric of solidity as if it were a beckoning cloud.



There is but one sensation of danger mixed with sensuality I can see residing in the flying grace's place. Include the absence of gravity Silk Dancing brings about, but misplace the subtle softness. Instead superimpose raw yet precise punctures. Gleaming metal divulging just above the surface of muscle, truly inside the fabric of my mortal being. To be suspended by shimmery hooks, gliding through the air much similar to that of a silk ballet. I can see the pricking metal entering my skin, sending waves of adrenaline throughout my entire body. The steady lifting of my mortal frame into the night air. A Euphoric state as I first partake in my largest organ holding my entire being delicately yet with such malice. Afterwards my bod-mod care-taker massages the air bubbles out of my muscles making my blood bubble, and allowing onlookers to gawk at such a spectacle. A spectacle of which I have witnessed myself, yet to be the direct cause of awe.

Does such a subculture exist here in Tucson, AZ? Truly I know not. Do I find myself resourceful enough to dig depths and find such a cult of sensory extremes, I believe so. Might I find myself imaginative and passionate enough to create such a following? Absolutely. There is no denying M will find a world as dangerous and seductive as flesh-suspension a new poison of choice. The true question resides in my own motivational muse. Furthermore, will My Love find such a path as delectable and inviting as I? Shall she embrace The Hook with the best of them, or consider me an outcast of steel and body manipulation. Should I take such a path alone, or might I find Another whom embraces my erratic and extreme nature as Love and M have thus far?

One thing is for certain, many options weigh heavy on my aspirations. To embrace the die, the silk tie, or the crimson sky? Truly the answer resides somewhere. Deep into my lucid dreams I shall dive, without direction or oxygen. Plunge without guiding gages or swim-fin. Inward I seek the motivation I pray for, to make such invigorating yet rash decisions.

Ultimately one question remains.

Will you be there for me when once the bets are set and the cards lay face-up?

Coming Out

Perspective: (Lilith)

Xenith came out to his immediately family some years ago. However, with this dynamic being completely new in my life, the thought of coming out to my family was daunting, not because I felt I wouldn't receive support, but rather because it is a difficult life decision to explain.

Recently I called my Mother simply to talk about life and the many aspects of it when I found myself feeling compelled to discuss our new relationship dynamic with my Mother. Of course, my Mother has intense intuition and called me out on the fact that I was hedging around something important.

Ah, Moms...

I hadn't prepared for this in any way shape and/or form, so my explanation started out as a rant of sorts, evolved into a civil rights discussion, and ended with a, "Mom... I'm not monogamous..."

It took a while to explain that within the context of Polyamory, the relationships created are as diverse as the people who create them, leaving the possibilities infinite.

Surprisingly enough, she expressed to me that while she chooses not to live a similar lifestyle as me, she supports XenitH and I %100.

At this point in the conversation my mouth was dropped wide open and I found myself speechless.

We laughed, joked, and bonded even deeper than before.

I must admit that I feel extremely blessed and grateful to have such a wonderful Mother in my life.

Yay!

Introductions.

Perspective: (Lilith)

XenitH and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for almost a year and a half. When we first met, XenitH identified himself as polyamorous and I identified myself as monogamous (opposites truly do attract, eh?). At that point in my life I was hesitant of romantically involved relationships in general, and the idea of multiple romantically involved relationships near paralyzed me. I'll admit, the concept of polyamory was interesting, but I simply wasn't ready for that adventure.

Our intrigue and attraction to each other was far too strong to ignore, thus together we entered into an exclusive monogamous relationship. Our relationship has been intellectually, emotionally, and sexually fulfilling in a myriad of ways, but we soon realized that as all humans are, we too are multi-faceted individuals that require many levels of stimulation that our partner may not be able to fully provide. I had come to the conclusion that expecting, and in many ways demanding your one and only to provide you with everything you require in life is not only unfair, but unrealistic.

This revelation was absolutely frightening on my behalf, but it was a revelation nonetheless, and such psychological breakthroughs are not to be ignored. This breakthrough was experienced by us both simultaneously and we mutually presented both our perspectives of the problem and the solution.

Upon many discussions, we have mutually agreed to explain our new perspective on our relationship as extending our circle of compassion by practicing alternative relationship dynamics. We feel there are far too many preconceived notions and negative connotations surrounding the terms polyamory, non-monogamy, and open relationships, thus we agreed to stick with the term alternative relationship dynamics. This leaves it open for us to explain to others our lifestyle and cultural decisions with minimal confusion.

We are both entering this new phase in our relationship with selflessness, unconditional love, transparency, excitement, and joy as well as doubt, fear, and insecurities. This blog is to help us chart our progress and deal with the various emotions that arise in this transition and to also help the readers through their relating situations. Also, this blog is shared between the two of us, so to eliminated confusion of who is writing an entry, we have decided to place our name in parenthesis at the top left-hand corner of the entry.

Namaste!